My 17 year old daughter wants to get a septum nose ring (Bull nose ring). My wife and are are very much against it. This has been an ongoing argument with her for the past week. I personally think they are ugly, disgusting, and make girls look kind of sleazy, plus there are always possible health risks. Do you think I am being to hard. I would like to get other guys and girls opinions.
I got one. I also got my lip, my tongue, and used to have the bridge of my nose but took that out. I'm 25 and have gotten all of them between the ages of 16-19. 1) I actually think they can look pretty on girls if they wear a smaller ring. But I can see why you think there ugly. I get it. But also if she took it out you wouldn't see any scars. And she could flip it up in her nose to hide it in inappropriate situations (work). 2) My mom brought me to get my lip and septum. She didn't like the idea either but it's just a piercing that can always come out. Not like a tattoo that's permanent. It's really no biggie outside of people's opinion on how it looks. 3) health risks? Iv had mine for 8 years, no issues. If you let her get it though deffinitly go to a established clean shop. Not some hole in the wall. 4) I don't know your daughter obviously, but keep in mind that it's possible she goes out and gets it behind your back, flips it up to hide it. It's really easy to hide. Where would she go to get it? Probably a dirty hole in the wall that's willing to pierce minors. Like I said the only thing that really becomes an issue is other people's opinion on it. Which to me, I couldn't care less. I wouldn't necessarily say your being to hard though. I'm not going to lie I get some nasty remarks sometimes from older people. Usually it's just a odd look however
Alright Unc is going to be serious for a minute. As some of you may or may not know, Ive worked with kids in rehabilitative settings and I've been around the mental health field. I've dabbled in my share of difficult children. (That sounds horrible) My two cents: If your daughter wants to express herself, why fight it. Give up control to get control. Choose what hill you want to die on. Its important to her right? So why fight it. You cited "ugly, disgusting, and sleezy" as being your main oppositional arguments. Thats not a strong argument against "this is my body and its the way I want to express myself to the world". Its her nose buddy. And one day she will do whatever she wants to it. You can have a teenage daughter with a nose you find silly that may or may not outgrow it, or you can have an adult daughter thats pierced up and resents you for not letting her express herself as a child so she makes it her life mission to show you that its her body and she can do what she wants. Kids are like springs---the more pressure you put on them to go against their budding wills, the more they're going to bounce all over the place without judgement the second you take that pressure off. And you can't keep the pressure on forever. So why fight it. "You can do your nose. Whats in it for us?" There are no health risks. Its pretty safe. I had my face pierced to holy hell when I was a teenster and by 19 I had taken them all out. And it actually looks kinda cute on some girls. Now, if you're daughter wanted to SUP--- smash her head in with a rock and leave her for dead at the edge of the village.
Your fatherly duty is to allow her to do anything that'll keep the boys away. A Mohawk and face tattoo will go nicely. Also restrict her baths and deodorant use.
as my mom always said, "do what you want, when you reach the end of the leash you will hang yourself" I hung myself often, screwing up job interviews, nearly flunking out of school, buying cars i couldnt afford etc. and in the end she was right 99% of the time Unc is correct, give up control to get control. kids fight fire with fire. When I worked in wilderness therapy, I would tell kids and adults that I could care less what they do, if they wanted to leave doing the right thing would get them out of there. I would sit there and listen to them, advise them with my own experiences but never tell them what to do. Most of them figured it out by week 8. others never figured it out. 180 days in the desert isnt fun no matter who you are. (actually it was pretty fun walking in 30 mile circles with the adults attempting to walk out) That being said if most of those kids were my kids, a proper smackdown would be in order.
Oh and just to add to my original post. Like I said I got quite a few facial piercings. After they have healed up you can take em out. Getting a job or something like that is not an issue at all. Point being she's not putting her self at a disadvantage by getting one. As long as she's smart enough to be like "hey I'm going on an interview, let's take this thing out".
at least it not nipple rings she asking for or does she already have them . look at the bright side hahahah
u need to talk some sense into her,im guessing shes one of those goth girls,random girls don't get their faces pierced.I just think its stupid,but its ur family man,ur call,but I would never allow that.a stud through the side of the nose is one thing,but a bull ring,i havnt seen those since the 90s.
I appreciate everyone's opinions on this subject. Still not sure how this how thing is going to play out, but thanks.
Do you contribute to her life financially? If so, revoke. Problem solved. If she wants independence, it's there for the taking, and it's not that much fun. You're not taking away her health insurance. You are taking away her right to do something possibly stupid, definitely silly, and probably harmless. It is her body, but we're not talking about a medical issue here, it's just a stupid piercing. I wanted a piercing, my parents shut it down; I got older and realized it was f*cking stupid. In the end her mind is raging with chemicals and she will have a lot of trouble seeing your point of view, which should be 'this stuff is superficial in the end, why do you need to do this.' Anyway if you REALLY want to shut it down, man up and get one yourself. Start showing up to shows she goes to, places she hangs out, with t-shirts of her bands and a trendy haircut like her friends. That will show her!
Ah, I forgot to mention, on some people it can look good, you could always post pics of her and we'll let you know.
I agree with the others in that it could be worse. At least it is reversable. I grew up with my house my rules but I'm not as hard as my old man was. At 16 all my surfer friends were getting their (left)ear pierced. I thought it was cool. One day my buddy comes over to pick me up and my old man sees his ear ring and nonchalantly says ,"David, I didn't know you were a f*gg*t?"Then proceeds to show what happens if you get into a fight with some one with piercings. I never did it. What's up with the hole in your elongated ear lobe piercing? Kids???
Iggy, years ago my daughter was considering multiple ear piercings. I ask her, "do you think your mother is beautiful?", she answered, "Yeah very beautiful!!". I answered to her, "So are you. Anything you do with piercings or tattoos will only DETRACT from your beauty, not add." She never again even thought of getting piercings, tattoos, or any other fad crap. "detract' is a key word. Use it.
Hogwash. Piercings and tattoos are for idiots; they look good on nobody, they look like s(hit.. Having said that, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
